Man now back home from procedure & already take deep nap & say it ok for help monkey update reader on what happen. why. here why. Man think colonoscopy = important procedure for mans & ladies have because even if it = unpleasant there something more unpleasant. what. here what. finding out maybe you have serious problem like cancer & then have to go through 100X more unpleasant procedure.
so now in case reader wonder what colonoscopy like monkey make presentment of experiece of Man in 2nd routine colonoscopy he have during life.
it all start yesterday at 5 pm after Man not have any solid food all day & drink many fluids. at 5 pm Man drink 10 oz. of magnesium citrate & swallow 2 ducolax tablet. now monkey make presentment of list of what happen next in order.
Man sit near toilet machine & wait in patience for outburst from rear end but that not begin until later & Man have disappointment.
then 8 pm come & Man drink 10 oz more of magnesium citrate & eat 2 more ducolax tablet.
Man also drink many more glass of water & nice chicken broth Lady make day before & gatorade.
pretty soon after 8 pm Man have unpleasant stirring in bottom region & make it in time to toilet machine & have success. unlike last colonoscopy prep Man not mistake stirring for mere fart & not shit pajama pants this time.
then from 8:30 pm to 3:00 in morning Man try sleep in chair in room next to toilet chamber & make many trip there & not sleep > 2 hour all night.
at 3:30 am Man drink last 10 oz of magnesium citrate & also keep hydrated with other fluid. Man develop extreme dislike for gatorade.
at 7:30 am Man make last trip to toilet machine in house & take shower & get dressed for 8:15 am appointment for probing procedure. Man hope he not have accident in pants on way to appointment so Lady help him line underpant with panty liner & stick small towel in pants too. it not necessary because Man = lucky & not have pants accident.
very friendly staff at surgical center greet Man at 8:15 & take information. then Man & Lady wait in nice room with tv machine until Man go with rn nurse to room where he remove clothes except for socks & put on hospital dress what open in back & lie down on trolly machine thing.
nice nurse make Man comfortable with warm blanket & take blood pressure & insert needle port into back of hand for use of doctor later when he give Man happy juice. Man then lie in peace & quiet & compose self for next step.
pretty soon other nice nurse come & wheel Man into room where again Man has to spell name & say who drive him home after & get blood pressure. pretty soon doctor come in.
doctor too = very friendly & put Man at ease & tell Man what happen during procedure & explain maybe polyp have to come out or maybe biopsy taken if something look suspicious.
next thing Man know nurse pump happy juice into Man & Man wake up in recovery room. he find out tiny polyp get removed but it nothing to worry about & everything look good & next colonoscopy come in 5 year.
Lady drive Man home when he ready to move feet without falling over from happy juice. later Lady tell Man many thing he say to doctor & nurse in recovery room & how he keep reaching to hold her hand. but poor Man not able to remember anything until after he get home & fall asleep on couch for 15 minute & finally get to bed & sleep for while. he still not remember anything from time nurse make him happy with shot until he get home. but Lady fill him in with many detail.
Man say that even though whole colonoscopy prep & procedure not pleasant for about 15 hour it still something anyone able for get through & it beat not having colonoscopy and later getting told that there advanced badness growing in ass. Man say if reader balk at getting scoped just take advice of Man & get through it. Man say if > 70 year old guy can do it so can reader.
There other benefit of colonoscopy what monkey point out now.
goodbye today reader. monkey hope reader take inspiration from Man & not put off getting routine colonoscopy.
if reader see ad down there next it NOT from monkey. it there because Man = 100 % TOO CHEAP for pay $$$ every year for remove ad thing from blog. monkey apologize for cheapness of Man.